Cum gestionăm furia? partea a-6-a
Cum gestionăm furia?- partea a-4-a
July 26, 2020
Lupta cu propriile complexe
August 2, 2020
Dacă suntem furioși, atunci altcineva ne-a provocat furia. Sau, dacă suntem ținta furiei altcuiva, probabil că noi suntem de vină; sau, alternativ – dacă suntem convinși de nevinovăția noastră , putem trage concluzia că celălalt nu are niciun drept să se înfurie.
Cu cât relațiile nostre sunt mai fuzionale ( adică forța de coeziune este atât de puternică, încât se pierde „eul” separat din „noi”), cu atât învățăm mai mult să ne asumăm responsabilitatea pentru ceea ce simt alții și pentru reacțiile lor și să-i învinuim pentru propriile noastre reacții. La fel, membri familiei își asumă responsabilitatea pentru influențarea gândurilor, sentimentelor și comportamentelor altor oameni.
Relațiile umane însă nu funcționează astfel, sau cel puțin nu prea bine. Începem să ne folosim furia ca pe un vehicul al schimbării atunci când suntem capabili să ne împărtășim reacțiile fără să-l facem pe celălalt responsabil pentru provocarea emoțiilor noastre și fără se ne autoculpabilizăm pentru reacțiile altora ca răspuns la alegerile și acțiunile noastre.
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